sukitoitte: #even his voice is perfect
Why does Australia have so many big things?
This is what I’m talking about. We have: Four big apples One big Avocado A big abalone Two big bananas and one banana bunch A big blue heeler A number of big (alcohol) bottles (and of course a big can of VB in QLD… says a lot about their tastes) A big Chicken Captain Cook Cows and crocs Dinosaurs A dugong, for some reason An egg Elephants Fish A giant man panning...
Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
I have decided Dumbledore always made his...
be4utiful-ending: #no really #say those in snape’s voice
Neither J’aquen or Asha look how I imagined.
I learned the hard way that I cannot always count on others to respect my...– Unknown (via raeraenjma)
Petit Poisson: thisishangingrockcomics: Recently a... →
thisishangingrockcomics: Recently a follower told me that my ripping on Urban Outfitters was obnoxious. It’s not the first time I’ve heard that. Actually I get told fairly often things to the effect of “oh you just don’t like them because you want to be different and sound smart.” And I…
thedoktahandroes replied to your post: thedoktahandroes replied to your post: Yara… sob no dnw we are smart viewers we can figure it out (ALSO why did it take me so long to see this??? xDDD) We are smart… obviously not smart enough. [Pretend there’s a relevant gif here I’m just really lazy] Damn you HBO.
doctor-wholmes: Am I the only one who goes on tumblr while they’re supposed to be getting dressed and just ends up blogging in their underwear for an hour?
People don’t live on the Disc any more than, in less hand-crafted parts of the...– Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent (via 3parts)
Saturday Night Live: Sofia Vergara | The Hunger Games
To see the ocean once is to learn how to miss it.– Mistress Coyle Patrick Ness’ The Ask and the Answer
If you can correctly pronounce every word in this...
crimsun: Read More A brilliant poem altogether and has to be read aloud.
Think meat eating is a personal choice?
sebabug: finallyfriendless: Cool, I guess rape, murder, imprisonment, slavery, exploitation and violence are all personal choices too. Oh wait, they’re not? Why? Because they affect more than just the person doing them? Holy shit, you’re right! Did you really just compare rape, murder, and slavery to eating meat Maybe the op meant cannibalism?
The Cast of The Avengers discuss their characters
Robert Downey Jr. on Iron Man: "Tony Stark is open to all possibilities and has no problem accepting extraordinary happennings. Joining The Avengers team is an act of curiosity - he wants to see what's happening first-hand. He realized a while ago that he's not an island and this time around he is beginning to understand that it's about a group mindsent and that 'we' is better than 'I.'"
Chris Evans on Captain America: "Big parts of Steve Rogers are his good nature, high morals and strong values. Those morals and values were created in a time when people treated each other differently. The level of interaction was a bit deeper. Everything feels one step apart with all of the technology we have now. A lot of the things that he believed in, stood for and loved have changed. They're not gone - they're just different. He's trying to find his footing in a modern world."
Chris Hemsworth on Thor: "Thor has more of a personal investment in what's happening than the other Super Heroes becuase Loki is his brother. The bigger conflict for him is that he's trying to protect the greater good, but he has some deep questions about what is going on with his brother."
Mark Ruffalo on The Hulk: "This Hulk is mercurial. He's very unpredictable; he's nuanced. There's a sense of humor there; there's an ability to communicate. But he's bristly and he's incredibly dangerous, like a wild animal. His rage feels real; his reactions to things feel human."
Jeremy Renner on Hawkeye: "Hawkeye is alone in the game, an outcast and a loner; he’s a lone wolf sort of character, so he’s not a team player, but will be there if needed."
Scarlett Johansson on Black Widow: "Black Widow is all business. She’s sort of in a grey area. In a sense she’s been fighting the good fight, despite her dark background. But she’s committed because she has to be and her moral ground is more dutiful. She’s militaristic in that way; that’s how she knows right from wrong."
Samuel L. Jackson on Nick Fury: "Nick Fury monitors a lot of things and when he sees a need he generally goes against the grain; he rubs a lot of people the wrong way by taking actions in situations that they don’t necessarily want him to take action in but he does anyway."
Cobie Smulders on Maria Hill: "Maria Hill and Nick Fury butt heads constantly. I think that Maria is a little bit more intuitive than Nick. But throughout the course of the film, she realizes that he is involved and he does care, and he is taking the right steps to protect our country and fight the bad guys."
Clark Gregg on Phil Coulson: "When you look at the team, it's made up of rock stars and divas with giant muscles and super-powered egos, so somebody has the job backstage to make them all play in the same super band—and that’s what Agent Coulson does."
Tom Hiddleston on Loki: "Loki’s villainy is motivated by the fact that he’s damaged and searching for his place in the universe, but in this film he’s a lot more menacing and a lot more powerful. He’s much more self-possessed. He’s also a god, so he’s more powerful than any human."
I know older men in comedy who can barely feed and clean themselves, and they...– Tina Fey, Bossypants (via frankie-ann)
We can’t concern ourselves with what was; we must act on what is.– Monk Gyatso Avatar: The Last Airbender
ABED; So, you're like a Muslim. Asslamalaikum.
I can't believe there's a Chaos Walking fandom.
The best books I've ever read
believingisreading: The Chaos Walking Trilogy. They will honestly change your life, I can’t explain how much they make my heart hurt. There are no words. Please read. And they’re making a film which I’m sad about because there is no way a film could ever do the books justice. It’s just not visually possible to portray the Noise, surely? Anyway, I can’t describe how much I love them, you just...